Migraine
by POIphantomgirl
Summary: Pain brings John and Joss together and leads to some unexpected and unplanned events.
1. Chapter 1

_So this one takes place sometime after The Crossing and after Joss has recovered. I didn't know what to call this one so I just went with something simple. Sorry in advance for any mistakes. And of course I don't own any of these characters._

Joss stumbled. She couldn't think past the pounding in her head. Another migraine was coming on. Why did it have to hit her now of all times? After surviving the bullet to her chest the traumatic experience left her with a post traumatic after effect. Awful and severe migraines. They didn't come often, but when they did it was usually as a result of stress. And unfortunately she had allowed her current case to stress her out.

She fumbled for her keys her eyes narrowed. Opening them any wider made the pain worse.

Why did she have so many keys? How was she going to drive home like this? But home was the one place she was longing to be. Where she could rest. She groaned when she couldn't steady her hand enough to put the key into the hole and had to close her eyes for relief.

In that moment she felt a presence at her backside and then a hand covered hers.

"Let go Carter." He whispered in her ear. "I'll drive you home."

 _John._ She didn't know how he knew to come, but she was too relieve to resist. The keys slipped from her grasp and she leaned her back against his chest confident he would hold her up. His free hand slipped around her waist and he guided her to the passenger seat. He tried to softly close the door once she was inside.

Although the ride was smooth Joss was restless. When they arrived John came around and helped her out. He guided her into the house and eased her out her blazer. Then he lowered her into the chair in her living room. "Lean back. Take it easy." His voice was soft. Soothing. He knelt down on the floor and slipped off her shoes. John then took off his own jacket and shoes.

"John." She called knowing she sounded weak, but the pain made her vulnerable and all she wanted was for it to end. "John it hurts so bad." She didn't know why she was crying to him. What could he do? Why couldn't she be stronger?

He caressed her hand. "I know." His voice was full of compassion and pain. Seeing her distressed always moved him. A tear she couldn't fight ran down her cheek. So carefully he wiped it away. "Oh babe." He sighed softly.

 _Babe?_ Did he just call her 'babe'? Her heart picked up speed. He had never called her that before. But it stirred something inside. A longing to hear it again, even though she knew she shouldn't wish such a thing.

She heard him move. "Lean your head back." She did as he instructed. His large hands slipped into her hair. Connecting with her scalp his fingers began to massage her head. Within just a few minutes she felt a noticeable break in the pain. As if the migraine knew better than to fight against John Reese. Her eyes remained closed. She couldn't believe she was letting him touch her like this. With these hands that had once been used in countless assassinations. But the caution and care he was using now were not the hands of a killer.

He worked consistently for a while leaving Joss in a blissful state. His hands slowly began to change position as he shifted around the chair, coming to kneel before her again. He settled on her temples and began to knead a sensitive spot.

She couldn't deny that she was glad he was here. Taylor was gone for the weekend with his dad. When the pain had hit her she really didn't want to be alone. But like always John showed up and decided to take care of her. And she liked, for once, being the _one_ being taken care of. She could get used to this. Especially with John. She always marveled at the man he was when he was with her.

Her eyes slit open. She was pulled in by his blue hypnotic eyes. Their intensity soften as he looked deeper into her brown orbs. With the lightness of a feather he drew his finger across her brow, down the bridge of her nose. Circling her eyes and down her cheek.

When had his touch turned into a caress? A caress that was just as hypnotic as his eyes.

And the way he was looking at her… The air around them thickened. They were no longer Reese and Carter. But John and Joss. Man and woman.

Joss swallowed starting to tense up. Knowing where her mind was going John cupped her cheek and the back of her head. He leaned in and his lips graced her brow. Joss's blood raced. She knew where this was going.

"John." She said knowing how weak the protest sounded. She was too tired to really resist. Part of her, a much louder part, didn't _want_ to resist. But wanted the affection she knew he kept hidden. Another soft kiss was laid to her closed eyes. Cheekbones, jaw. His thumbs brushed her lips.

"Joss." He whispered her name. Then lowered his head. Making the final connection. All the tension evaporated. Every muscle went lax. She felt complete. Like the last piece of her life had finally been set in place. The kiss was so sweet and tender. John poured all his love for her into it. Joss found strength to kiss him back if only for a moment. She sighed with contentment before he finally pulled away.

Her eyes opened. When had her hands lifted to cup his jaw? She wandered as she stared into his eyes.

They let it happen again. Another unexpected kiss. They had to work this out. There was so much they needed to talk about. They couldn't just jump into a relationship.

How could he be so calm? She thought frustratingly. Didn't he know how complicated this was? How it was the last thing they should be doing? If it weren't for this blasted migraine they would talk right now.

"You should rest." He said and stood. Joss looked at him in puzzlement when he leaned over her. His arms slipped under her legs and around her back. She felt her body lifted up. Instinctively she curled against him resting on his shoulder. He gracefully laid her on the couch before leaving the living room. For her moment she thought he was going to leave and walk out the door. He returned shortly with two bottles of water and a blanket. Sitting down he placed a pillow over his leg, sat the waters on the table, and pulled her down to rest on the pillow. The blanket was thrown over her body and he held her hand as he turned on the TV.

"Go to sleep Joss." He bent to kiss her cheek. "I'll be here when you wake up."

She sighed. Was it this easy? Is this why he was so calm? Something about this whole arrangement felt right. It had felt right from the beginning. There was a pull John had on her that she had never experienced before. And his actions proved that that pull was not one sided. As the light of her television glowed, she felt John's fingers sifting through her hair.

Maybe she was overthinking it. Making too big a deal of this. Yes! It _was_ complicated. Yes it was going to be difficult if they ventured down this path. This path of caring for each other. Of loving each other. But she was firmly convicted deep in the bit of her stomach that it would work. She snuggled a little closer to him, the idea growing on her.

Perhaps it _was_ this simple. Maybe God brought them together. Maybe divinely John was her ONE. God must've realized John needed someone in his corner. And she definitely needed someone in hers. They BOTH needed just a little taking care of.

When she woke up, she would surprise him. Instead of talking about all the reasons it would be bad for them to be together, she would ask him what she should wear for their first date. Hopefully a really nice dress. One she would have to go shopping for later.

A small smile tugged on her lips as she entangled their fingers, stroking his skin, she started to drift off to sleep.

 _Ok so hope you liked it. I tried to focus on Joss having an internal battle of head vs heart. Anyway hope it flowed and was a decent read._


	2. Chapter 2

_Soooo, when I posted this in my mind is was complete. But after I kept getting ideas for how to continue the story for myself. Also got a few requests to continue so here is the next chapter. This won't be long, probably just one more chapter or to. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. You all made feel like ten feet tall. Seriously._ _J_

Joss began to stir. Legs stretching, her arms snuggled to her pillow and to a warm body. Her eyes flew open and she turned her head. Her heart twisted. John was sound asleep. Head tilted downward, lashes resting against his skin. His hand resting on her back. She smiled up at him.

He was handsome. He really was. It was nice to be able to admit it. Carefully Joss eased up causing his hand to slide off her back. Joss tucked her feet beneath her thighs, relieved her headache was gone. A yawn escaped her as she leaned her back against the couch turning attention back on John. As badly as she wanted to wake him and look into those baby blue eyes, she knew it was better for him, to let him get some rest. For now she settled for watching him sleep. His chest rising and falling.

His neck no doubt would be sore when he awoke, due to the way his head was hanging. Maybe she'd have to give him a massage after he woke, she thought with a lift of her mouth.

She wasn't sure how long she watched him, but something unsettled his sleep and his head shifted. His hand moved as if searching and she realized he was looking for her. His eyes opened reluctantly. She saw the temporary moment of disappointment when he saw his lap only held the pillow.

"I'm right here John." His gaze lifted and his eyes lit. "I wanted to be here when you woke up."

He stifled a yawn. "Do you feel better?"

She nodded. "Yes." Joss ran a hand down her thigh, feeling slightly nervous. She didn't need to lose her nerve. "Thanks for staying with me."

"I wanted to. You know you're-"

"Not alone?" she finished with a smile which he returned.

He ran a hand down his face. "Carter, do you mind if I use your restroom?"

"Be my guest. I would point it out to you, but I'm sure you already know the way." She said with a knowing smirk. He stood walking off, Joss watching. She blew out a breath realizing she'd have to be patient a little longer. He woke up guarded. He expected the walls and barriers to be back in place. Well she still planned to surprise him. Tucking her hair behind one ear she jumped up going to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

She poured them each a cup and padded back into the room. John had returned and was sitting in the same spot. "Coffee?"

"Thanks Carter." She handed his cup slightly annoyed by how he addressed her. She couldn't tell if he was calling her Carter just out of habit or if it was a verbal reminder for him to keep the distance between them. If the latter it was time to end this.

She sat down, sitting closer than necessary. "It meant a lot that you stayed with me."

He swallowed a drink. "You don't have to thank me. I wanted to be here. It's the least I could do. It's been a hard enough recovery for you. You did take a bullet that was meant for me."

She heard the roughness in his voice. Her hand seized his pulling it to her lap. "Are you saying you stayed with me out of guilt?" She challenged.

His focus became temporarily glued to the hand that was wrapped in hers. This was the first time _she_ initiated a touch. After a moment he came to himself. "You know that's not what I meant."

She nodded and lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles. He visibly swallowed. Those blue eyes twinkled with hope. Inwardly she glowed with pride. She had actually made John nervous. "I know it isn't John." Joss placed her cup on the coffee table. "So, what should I wear on our first date?"

His brow slightly furrowed, and he held a breath. "Date?"

"Yes! You didn't think I'd let you just keep kissing up on me whenever you feel like it without ever taking me out. _Please_. This is _me_ you're talking to John. I'm not going down like that. No matter how good you look." She threw him a smirk.

His eyes were serious. Doubting her words. She had surprised him. Really surprised him. He wanted this more than she realized. The look he was giving her was proof of it. Joss felt like she held his life in her hand. What was it that made her special or different from the hundreds of women he had met? What caused him to want her? A cop with a chip on her shoulder?

Finally a smile stretched across his face. A real smile, that took Joss's breath away. It really ought to be illegal to look that good, she thought. She lifted her brow. "Well? What should I wear?"

This time he actually thought, looking away. He frowned thinking and Joss mentally ran through the different stores to visit in search of the perfect dress.

"Something comfortable."

That snapped her from her musing. "What?"

"Maybe jeans and a jacket?"

She stared at him trying not to be disappointed. Jeans and a jacket? "A-are you sure?"

His eyes lit with confidence. "Yes."

"Ok. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he replied his normal smug attitude returning. Joss's curiosity was peaked, but she knew interrogating John would get her nowhere. He pulled out his phone realizing he had missed a few calls. "I need to go." He said nodding towards his hand which she hadn't let go. She relaxed her hold, but he tightened his grip, drawing lazy circles on the top of her hand. "Joss does this mean I have to wait until after our date before I can kiss you again?"

She blushed pretending to actually think. "Hmm. For you I guess I can make an exception." He leaned for and placed a lingering kiss on her mouth. Her finger tips graced his jaw holding him for a moment longer when he intended to pull away.

He looked into her eyes. "I'll call you."

Joss smiled caressing his face. "I'll answer."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for everyone who reviewed and read this story. Special thanks for the guest reviewers. Love reading your comments._

With a ruby red shirt, fitted dark blue jeans, and a black jacket Joss met John at her door, surprised he actually knocked and waited for her answer. Leaning against the doorframe he gave her a once over before they walked down to the street. That was when the first surprise was revealed. Instead of a car, John's bike was parked against the curb.

Struck with fear at the thought of riding on the back of a mode of transportation so unlike the security of a car, Joss almost refused to go anywhere. But John almost begged her to go. Then he said the words that pushed her over the edge.

"Just hold on to me. I won't let anything happen to you."

The thought of holding onto John for a ride was appealing and seeing it was important to him, Joss finally agreed. She took his advice and held on exceptionally tight. When John had to lean them for a turn her grip increased. John enjoyed having her close and made a few unnecessary leans to bring her closer. After catching on Joss let go long enough to hit his back. Although she couldn't see his face, she knew he was giving her that cocky half smile.

John drove them to a large cabin, away from the city, overlooking a small pond. Instead of going inside they went to the back of the cabin where a blanket spread onto the ground awaited surrounded by candles. Joss settled in watching John light the candles as the sun began to set. They shared a meal John had cooked which included a juicy roasted chicken that tingled her taste buds with the light twang of lemon.

It was the most peaceful day Joss could recall having and she understood why John decided for their date to be here and like this. He didn't want them to be cop and vigilant today. He wanted to just be John, the man. And he wanted to be with her, Joss the woman and mother. Away from prying eyes, where they were free to hold hands or be affectionate without the worry of who was watching. He wanted to show her a day with him. Riding the back of his bike, eating his cooking, and he wanted to hear about her life, outside of being a cop. He listened to her talk about Taylor, her frustration with a broken stove as well as her most recent conversation with her mother.

Eventually Joss snuggled up to John's side resting her head on his shoulder as he leaned back against a tree and they watched the sun set. They didn't speak but watched the scene nature played for them. They didn't need words. They could just sit and understand all that they needed to about each other.

Joss wanted more days like with this. More days of calm between the storms. She marveled at the lengths John had taken for this date. Joss ran a hand up against John's arm no longer needing her jacket with him close. One thing still puzzled her. A thing she couldn't let go. She teased her lip with her teeth.

"Why me?" She asked at last. She felt him looking at her questioningly. "What makes me so special?"

He settled back. "Shouldn't _I_ be asking _you_ that? I'm the one with the past."

Joss lifted her head, hearing John suppress a groan at the movement. "I really want to know, John. I _need_ to know."

He looked at her in disbelief. She was truly unaware of why he wanted her. Why other women paled in comparison. John glanced down at his stretched out legs, gathering his words. "You're…" His thumb ran across the back of her hand before his eyes lifted. He gave her the look. The one he had given her in the morgue, when she told him of Taylor's birth. Like he was in awe of her. His free hand lifted and he stroked her jaw. "You've always seen the good in me. No one believed in me the way you do. You're an amazing woman. You never stop fighting Joss. After everything you've been through you still keep going. You fought to raise your son and he's turned out to be a great kid. Your love for your son is beautiful. You're a wonderful mother. I can't tell you how much I want to see that same look of love you have for Taylor, given to my child."

Joss almost choked. Did he say **_child_**?

"But not just Taylor. You've been to war, you fight for justice every day." His jaw worked the words becoming harder to express. "And you fight for me. I don't know why Joss. You know who I am and what I've done. But you never give up on me. After everything, you still can see the good. I want that in my life. I need it. I need _you_. Joss I want you to want me to want me. You make me want a family. You make me want to call you my wife. I need you to keep fighting for me. I can't make it if you don't."

He leaned in, resting his head against hers. "So, I'll say it again. _I_ should be asking _you_. Why **_me_**?"

 _So the next chapter is Joss's response. I didn't want to cram it all into this chapter, so Ravenhusker there is another chapter and possibly an epilogue (lol). Also the cabin is owned by Finch. I'm sure you all could guess that though. And I knew as part of the surprise I had to have them ride the bike. I always wondered how Joss would respond if John ever asked her to take a ride with him on that thing. I'll have the final chapter posted probably this weekend. I just to read through it once more._


	4. Chapter 4

"So, I'll say it again. _I_ should be asking _you_. Why **_me_**?"

Joss suppressed the tears building up behind her closed lids. She could hear the pain in his voice. The vulnerability. He laid himself bare. What was it about him that made her get sappy and cry? For a man of so few words and so bad at expressing himself, he surely could find the right things to say when required to speak. She couldn't believe how he felt about her. So many times she felt that who she was from day to day, as a woman, went overlooked. That her struggle was so minor when weighed in the balance. She had gone so long without getting a pat on the back that she learned to live without compliments. Without any form of credit or recognition.

But John _had_ noticed. He had noticed everything. Not only noticed, but took time to appreciate it and respect her for it. Even to want it part of his life. He knew who she was, what she valued and he still wanted her. He already saw them married with a baby. Overlooking the fact that they were both in the forties. Not the prime time to be getting married and making babies. His imagination was active and he clearly had high hopes for them.

The question was could she see herself starting over with him? Would they be strong enough to be a family and make it? Could she be strong enough to take the risk?

She already knew the answer. For John she would do it all over again. Because he loved her and he loved her son. Because she was his second chance at the dreams he had had to go without. And because deep down he was her second chance too. Her second chance at having a happy loving marriage. Of having another child. A sibling to give to her son. Maybe there would an eighteen year gap between her kids, but Taylor at least would have someone else. John would have someone else. The men in her life would have what they wanted. And she would have them. She wouldn't be alone. And she would have one more life to cherish.

Suddenly it dawned on her. John had no idea how she felt. She had never said. Needing a brief reprieve she opened her eyes pulling away from him. Standing Joss walked a few feet away. The candles cast a yellow glow against the night and the moon stood high over the water. Joss crossed her arms. She opened her mouth to speak knowing her back was to him. Somehow she knew if she turned around she would not say the words. She couldn't think too hard about it. Just like two days ago when they kissed. The migraine distracted her from her logical thinking. Well she needed another distraction. She focused on the water.

"I love you John. Just you." She swallowed, the impact of her words hitting her hard. She was in love with a wanted a man. A man she would have given anything to put behind bars three years ago. A man she now couldn't imagine living without. He had become her closet friend. "And you are a good man. You protected me without even having a real reason. You did it knowing I would be one more person trying to catch you. My husband didn't even protect me at one point, but you've always tried to be there for me. When you didn't have to. Nobody made you promise not to leave me alone. You didn't owe me anything John! But you never stopped being selfless. You make me feel beautiful. Special." She knew it sounded corny, but it was true.

Suddenly she felt angry. Irate at what the world had done to him. To make him think so lowly of himself. To make him think that she would never want him. Turning on her heel she came face to face with John who had managed to come to her backside without her realizing it.

" _How_ can you ask me that? Of course I see good in you! You're a good man! You make me feel things I haven't felt in years. You understand me John. And you know how much my boy means to me. I feel safe with you. I _trust_ you! If you want me to fight for you, you best believe I will. Next to my son, you're the best case I've ever fought for. And I'll fight for you for the rest of my life! Because you're _my_ case to fight. With your failures and all! But one thing I won't do any longer is fight how I feel for you-"

Her words were cut off when John kissed her hard. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, keeping her from taking another breath even if she tried. Joss melted into his embrace, her hands clinging to the back of his neck trying to bring him closer as she stretched onto her toes. After a few minutes he slowly pulled away. Joss noticed the tears in his eyes, even in the darkness. He framed her face with his large hands.

"Would you give me a home Carter?" he asked, voice low as he kissed her temple.

Her eyes closing she answered confidently. "Yes."

He kissed her brow. "You'll let me into your and Taylor's lives, Joss?"

"Yes."

A kiss to her cheek. "You'll let me make you my wife?" His voice was so soft, hopeful.

"Yes." She answered as tears slipped down her cheeks and her voice shook with emotion she fought to control.

John leaned back enough to look into her brown eyes. He was at a loss for words. Trying to speak. To think of something to say, some way to express how he was feeling. A feeling he never thought he would know. Giving up he gently kissed and once more leaned his head against hers. When he spoke his voice was husky. "Thank you Jocelyn Carter."

Joss turned her head to kiss his palm as she held his wrist. "No. Thank _you_. John Reese."

 _So there it is. I thought during the show we never got to really hear Joss verbalize how she felt about John. Obviously John revealed what she meant to him, but we didn't get the chance to really hear how joss felt about their relationship and all John had done for her, so hear was my chance to kind of live that out. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and reading all the comments. God bless and everybody have a great 4_ _th_ _!_


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